Adult Juiceboxes! With Wine In Them!

What a delicious idea! I just wish they were biodegradable so I could fling my empties over my shoulder into a hedge or something. Also, WTF, no champs?

(thanks for the tip, Mr. Shopsin)

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genius winetime snacktime

Temple Grandin: Local, Smaller, Not Always Better

Temple Grandin, advocate for ethical slaughterhouses and “world’s most well-known autistic person” (I KNOW), had this to say about the safety of small meat processing operations:

What I get concerned about is the little local places that are not being audited. I’ve been involved in working with and training auditors for big plants and small plants…for the big plants the audits started 10 years ago, in 1999. The little plants, there was a five year delay for them. The big plants were just horrible when we first started and then when we walked into some of these little plants they were just as horrid.

and she is calling for using video as a form of transparency:

I’m at the point right now where I want to put it all on live video on the internet. I’m at the point where I want the industry to take all the mystery out of things. Some of the companies have video auditing and that’s good… but put a live feed out to the internet so anybody can look. What have we got to hide?

I’m all for it, and people should have to watch. I also think we should show broadcast executions and those who are pro-death penalty should have to watch. Also, just to continue my ranting, there should be more gun regulation, comprehensive sex education in every school, marriage for all who want it, and free, safe and legal abortion. The end.

—Snacktime

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Butchers Rants Snacktime

Another Reason to Hate Arizona

They’re like the 80s South Africa of America! And now, a diner serving lion. LION. Oh but they are “free range.”

Restaurant owner Cameron Selogie said: “We thought that since the World Cup was in Africa … that the lion burger might be interesting for some of our more adventurous customers.

“But most of them, when we tell them the facts, that this is farm raised and it doesn’t hurt the endangered animals, seem pretty reasonable.”

Enjoy your Aslan sandwich, assholes.

—Snacktime

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Arizona Gross Snacktime Aslan Assholes

Operation Frontline: Worthy

I admit that when I first started reading about Operation Frontline, a program that teaches families “how to plan, purchase, and prepare healthy, tasty, and affordable foods at home,” I was skeptical—because it is funded by the ConAgra Foundation. I assumed the classes would feature ConAgra brands like EggBeaters, Hunt’s, and LaChoy. But from what I can tell, they actually do what they claim to do, and judging by the recipe book [pdf], they make no reference to specific brands, just make generic references to ingredients such as “canned chickpeas.”

Operation Frontline is in its second year and is claiming good results:

• 87% of Adults report improving their cooking skills after graduating from an Operation Frontline course, which means they’re better equipped to make healthy meals for their families at home.
• 96% of kids who take Operation Frontline’s Side By Side course enjoyed cooking alongside their parents during class, an important element in continuing to prepare and eat healthy meals together as a family.
• After participating in Operation Frontline, at least 69% of adults said they were eating more fruit and vegetables than before the course.

Somehow they did this without dumping vats of chicken bits in the town square or other histrionics. A little respect goes a long way. —Snacktime

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Doing Good Operation Frontline R-E-S-P-E-C-T Snacktime

Rise of the Targetocracy

Soon the developed world will have a new class division—those who have access to a decent Target store and those who don’t. We Target-challenged citizens will huddle in our generic clothing and poorly-designed cheap housewares, while the Targetocrats laugh in their Zac Posen clothes, sitting in their Liberty of London beach chairs, and eating their exclusive Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavors.

—Snacktime, whose nearest Target is a 40 minute trip and by the time you get there the rest of Brooklyn has pawed through everything.

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ice cream snacktime targetocracy

Shut Up, Bacon: Cheesed Off

Maybe it is the crazy week I’ve been having but what the hell? This guy bakes some cheese and calls it bacon? WHAT DARK MAGIC IS THIS?

I love bacon and i love cheese. I often throw 2 or 3 pounds of cheddar in the smoker and give it a nice hickory accent. If you want the taste of bacon but don’t want to eat bacon, try this. Heat the oven or toaster oven to 400. Line a baking sheet with foil that is then lightly sprayed with non stick spray. Lay slices of cheese in the center of the sheet pan. They don;t have to touch or overlap, just keep them close to each other. Put in oven 8-10 minutes. The cheese will almost “fry” like bacon. When the very edges start to get crispy, remove from oven and immediately pour off any accumulated grease. Let cool for a minute or two and then peel off the foil. Tastes just like bacon!

I have become so inured to gross bacon pics I couldn’t even find one for this post. Enjoy the mousie. —Snacktime

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Shut Up Bacon Serious Eats is Seriously Weird Serious Eats Snacktime